For some people, success is as easy as setting a goal. At least it appears that way. These people decide they want something, and from the outside looking in, the world gives it to them. It’s as if they are predisposed to succeed. The rest of us stand on the sideline, mystified, impressed, and a little jealous.
Why is it that these people can get what they want, simply by wanting it? How do they set goals and in turn set themselves up to achieve them? What gives them the confidence to actually pull it off? The answer isn’t cut and dry, but it starts with the right kind of mindset.
When I was a kid I had a great volleyball coach. While she had us run drill after drill and play after play until we’d mastered it, there was something more to her style than her tactical approach. She had a way of helping each player get into the right headspace. She encouraged us to live in the present. She would say things like, “What happened in the last five seconds isn’t going to change, improve or ruin what happens in the next five, so forget about it and get moving!” She challenged us to let go of the past and look toward the future.
The kind of perspective that generates success begins with framing your perception. Henry Ford is credited with coining the phrase, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” To keep our minds focused on what we can achieve, rather than what we can’t, RGI created a process called “Burn the Bad, Keep the Good.” This tool peels away negative feelings and thoughts and replaces them with confidence and ambition.
Whether negative thoughts are your own or imposed on you by others, you have to let them go.
We challenge you to take 15 minutes and do this exercise, seriously, right now. It’ll be the best
15 minutes you ever spent.
Get a postcard-size piece of paper and write down every doubt you have about yourself: your shortcomings, your success, your career, your organization, your department. Tease out the things you’ve stuffed deep in the back of your mind, like “I’m fat, I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve it, I’m a disappointment.” Accept who you are. Stop believing other people’s
perceptions of you, like “you’re too short, too female, too gay, too young, too old.” All of it, write it down! Write it down even if you think you’ve dealt with it already. Write it down even if you’ve paid a great counselor lots of money to do it for you.
Once you’ve written down all of your imposed doubts and insecurities, take another postcard- size piece of paper. On this paper write down 3-5 things you will have in your life in the next year. Yes, I said “you will have.” Don’t write down what you want, desire, or hope for—write it as
if there is only 100 percent chance it will happen. Now, grab that list of doubts and add to it if you need to. Look it over, really look it over because this is the last time you get to think those thoughts, you’re going to let them go. Completely, forever.
Fold up the list of doubts and find a safe place to light it on fire. Burn the Bad! Literally!
Get rid of those doubts! They weren’t serving you in the first place and are no longer something to make excuses with. Grab that list of good, look it over and get used to always thinking you will reach those goals, the next goals, all goals because this is your New Normal, your new reality, your new life.
Keep the Good!
This is the mindset of successful people. Yes, they have doubts—but they continuously destroy them and replace them with goals. Furthermore, they believe that they can and will achieve those goals.
It’s imperative you understand your newly framed perception, but more importantly, it needs to become a part of your psyche. This is how you process all situations, from this moment forward. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will, either. After you Burn the Bad, Keep the Good you cast off doubt and you believe 100 percent in your success.
Dr. Rachel MK Headley & Meg Manke, MSSL; Senior Partners at Rose Group Int’l
We hope you enjoyed this exclusive excerpt from Rachel Headley & Meg Manke’s new book iX Leadership: Create High-Five Cultures and Guide Transformation. For more information or to obtain a copy, please click here.
Dr. Rachel MK Headley is a Mensa PhD Scientist and a certified Project Management Professional who brings a methodical and razor-sharp intellect to solve problems that suit her client organization, its ideal culture, and business goals. Meg Manke, MSSL, is a culture and leadership expert with years of experience leading companies large and small through major transitions, mergers & acquisitions, and behavior-based training and development. Partnering at Rose Group Int'l, Headley and Manke developed their proprietary iX leadership framework which allows business leaders to solve problems within their teams, address generational issues, manage big changes, and accomplish their most ambitious goals. Connect with Rose Group Int’l on Twitter @RoseGroupIntl and on LinkedIn. For more information, please visit https://rosegroupintl.com.